Artemis Fowl the trouble with Sprites!
by Custard Cat
Summary: Sprites, sprites and MORE sprites! God i'm CRAZY! aw well, thanx to you a new chappie is UP! Enjoy your'e turkey!
1. Trouble in Cario

Chapter .1.

Trouble in Cario.

****

Cairo, Egypt.

Artemis, the boy genius, was supposed to be on holiday with his happily formed family in Cairo but Artemis didn't find it as enjoyable as his parents. While they were taking photos of the pyramids and the Nile, he sat in the shade of a café pondering his next ingenious scheme for money. Butler squished a mosquito idly trying to bite his neck. The heat and the crowded streets made the bodyguard extra tense. Artemis scratched his temple. Neither spoke. Butler broke this silence.

"You should take a look around Artemis, while you're here that is."

Artemis stared at his bodyguard a while, considering his idea.

"It may clear your head?" added Butler.

After a while, Artemis gave in.

"Alright, but only because my head is pounding through this heat."

They made their way through the crowded streets, densely populated by merchants, peasants and beggars. Many beggars sat on rugs in the shade; some wrapped in thick potato sacks. How did they stand this heat with those things on them? Thought Artemis.

"Do you think the people are having a better time than me?" Artemis asked, not looking at the hulk of a man beside him.

"I don't know," replied Butler, "I doubt it though. Probably work as usual."

"Speaking of the people…" Artemis was staring at a rather small pair of beggars sitting behind a fruit stall. One was lying down and completely covered in a blanket. The second sat upright, shawl wrapped tightly around her head.

"Artemis…don't!" Too late. Young master Fowl was already standing beside the two and introducing himself.

"Hello." He said, in his clearly Irish accent. "I'm Artemis Fowl, pleased to meet you."

The small female looked up, showing Artemis her stunning brown eyes amongst her muddy face. She looked modestly surprised.

"Do you speak English?"

She still had a blank expression. The bundle next to her groaned, wriggled sideways and came to rest, back, to the wall. Artemis turned his attention to the moving canvas sack. The voice was deep, clearly male.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He sick." Replied the lady. Her accent was very convincing.

"I see."

"I sell house to pay hospital bill but not enough." She explained. "He may die."

"I see" repeated Artemis. "May I take a look Miss Short?"

"What you call me?" Puzzlement was written all over her face.

"Miss Short. I know who you are. No need to hide from me."

Butler ran behind Artemis and clapped a hand over Artemis' mouth.

"I'm very sorry" he apologised "doesn't know where he is today."

Butler reached into his pocket and pulled out some notes.

"Here" he said, gesturing to the money "take it."

She did hesitantly, and Butler let go of Artemis.

"She didn't look very keen to take that." Protested Artemis.

"Lets go Artemis."

"Don't worry Butler, I know what I'm doing."

He strode back over to where the female beggar was studying the notes carefully.

"Shall I give you some reasons why I think you are my friend Miss Short and not a beggar?" began Artemis.

The beggar nodded. "Go on then."

"1. your hair sticking out of your hood is of auburn colour and well conditioned, which I don't think a poor beggar would have."

She stared at a tuff of hair sticking out from under her hood, quickly stuffing it back under the shawl.

"2. you are quite short for any human and much too developed for a child."

"That doesn't prove anything, I could be a midget!" Her accent went off slightly.

"O.K I'll give you that but what about reason three. Look around." Artemis gestured the other beggars around.

"What?"

"They all have bare feet and you." He pointed at her feet, "Are wearing state-of-the-art moon boots only worn by LEPrechaun employees."

She stared down at her feet at where he was pointing, also covering this patch of evidence with her blanket. Butler had to smile. Artemis did amaze him sometimes.

"Hello Holly, nice to see you again!" Artemis held out his hand. The fairy looked up, eyes narrowed, but soon she smiled and shook his hand.

"Your such a show off mud boy!" she smiled. "Hi again Butler."

Butler nodded his head. "So what are you doing here Captain?"

"Top Secret mission," Holly tapped her cherry like nose with a forefinger. "Can't let interfering mud boys and his pets know!"

"Have you come alone?"

She smiled at them and nodded towards the bundle next to her.

"Of course not, I do have back up."

Artemis pulled at the potato sack, revealing the head of…Commander Root, his usual beetroot colour.

"Damn you mud boy." He swore.

"Commander, how nice to see you too!" joked Artemis, and he didn't usually do that!

"So" said Butler, scratching a mosquito bite, "Its just you two here?"

"Of course not," snapped Root, "that would be suicide. Captain Kelp and Private Verbil are over there." Root pointed to another pair of beggars in a small alley. 

"Kelp? I think I've locked shoulders with him before. Verbil, I don't know him. Well, I soon will and believe me, he will wish I hadn't." Butler smiled and turned to follow Artemis. 

"Oh, one more thing." Artemis stopped and turned to face the Commander. "Don't talk too loudly. I don't want some mud boy to give us away."

Artemis nodded in agreement and presumed walking towards the beggars.

"Hello" greeted Artemis. Now this was different. One was sitting upright and covered in what appeared to be five layers of blankets and sacks. The other was leaning against the wall, also covered in a blanket, had a face dirtier than the floor they were sitting on. He looked up at the sound of a voice.

"Hel-lo? " he questioned.

"You must be Kelp?" continued Artemis, ignoring his fake confusion.

"No, no sir. I humble servant. I look after brother." He gestured to the pile off cloth on his right.

"Ah, yes, private Verbil." Artemis received a confused glare for this remark. "Why is he wearing all that? It must be boiling!"

"Yes 'tis. But 'tis the only why he can hide his deformity!"

"His deformed?"

"Aye, aye." 

"That's a bit offensive to him captain, he must not be that bad."

"What?" his voice sounded more like his own.

"Your Captain Kelp, Holly said so, or has she got it wrong?"

Kelp smiled at Artemis. "Call me Trouble." He said, stretching out his hand. Artemis shook it.

"And this is Private Verbil?"

"Yeah, that's him. Verbil. Verbil? CHIX!" Kelp gave the fairy a sharp elbow to the ribs. The bundle of rags got the fright of his life and toppled sideways.

"Wha' the heck was that for?" it mumbled.

"This is Artemis, Chix." Trouble gestured to Artemis, "He was the one who kidnapped Holly. "

"I see…" Suddenly a green arm shot out from under the cloth. Kelp's expression went ballistic. 

"Put your arm back in!" Whispered Trouble, whacking Verbil's forearm. It quickly withdrew with a high yelp.

"You must be a sprite then Private. Is that why your hiding?"

"Nah, this is the latest fashion!" Chix said sarcastically.

Kelp rolled his eyes.

"So, why are you four here? Holly won't tell me you see."

"And I won't either." Agreed Trouble sternly. "Its top secret!"

" If I was to find somewhere private, would you tell me then?"

Kelp thought for a moment before agreeing. Chix just fiddled with the sheets shielding his green arms.

"O.K mud boy, but it better be secluded."

"No problem!" Artemis turned to Butler, "Can you go back to our hotel and see if the back rooms free? Say it's urgent."

Butler nodded and strolled over to a large building Artemis had been sitting outside of.

"Now if you'd like to follow me gentlemen, we can talk."


	2. A drink and a chat

Chapter .2.

A drink and a chat.

****

A hotel in Cairo's centre.

Mr Kikai sat on his usual four-legged stool behind the counter. Customers had flitted in and out all morning and most had been paying for his wide variety of sun cream. That's what made working in the hotel business so good, lots of customers coming in. That particular morning he had made himself quite a fair bit of money and was happily counting his earnings for the day when Artemis strolled in with butler and some rather short beggars.

"Good afternoon Master Fowl. Is there something you is looking for?" Mr. Kikai smiled. He smelled money in the air.

"Yes, actually Mukose, there is. Is the back room free?" 

Kikai nodded, puzzlement written across his face. 

"And the bar?" 

Again nodding.

"Good, I'm having a meeting for beggars of this town, to discuss ways of helping them, and we need to speak in privacy. Can you do that for me Mr. Kikai?" 

Kikai smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Certainly Master Fowl, it's free and you can help yourselves to drinks." 

He pushed the door of the lobby open and stood back.

"I hope your meeting goes well and I will see you at lunch." 

Kikai smiled a toothless grin as he scurried away with a ten-pound note clasped in his grubby hand.

They all sat round a table in the lobby. The door was locked and Artemis even got Butler to stand guard, he didn't want any interruptions.

"Now…" said Artemis, sitting down next to Root who had a large glass of Whiskey in front of him. "What is this all about?"

"I'm not talking for too long fowl," Growled Root, "I have only two men on patrol now and we need to get back." 

From the other side of the table, Chix was fumbling around with his sacks. Holly rolled her eyes and sighed. She grabbed the sides of the sacks and yanked them off the sprite. He emerged looking very flustered.

"Whew, thanks cap'n'. It's really hot 'n there!" 

"Anyway…" Root took a long gulp of whiskey and began telling Artemis the whole story. 

"Well, I suppose it started when I put Chix and Holly on guard duty at the police plaza. Had some goblins needed guarding, anyway, something…went wrong."

Artemis stared over at Holly and Chix who were getting very competitive with what looked like a game of 'tick~tack~toe'.

"Scissors beat paper, I win!" Said Holly triumphantly.

"Well, what if I folded my paper into an origami stone cutter, then I would win!" pouted Chix.

"You can't do that!"

"There's no rules to tick~tack~toe!"

"Yes there is!"

"Alright, show me!"

After Holly was silent for a minute, Chix smiled in triumph.

"There ya go, ya can't tell me!" he smirked maniacally at Holly, "how 'bout best out of three?"

"Alright then…tick…tack…TOE!"

"What's that, paper?" 

"Yes, and what's that?!"

Chix looked down at he's hand, which was in the shape of a sort of rocker's gesture, his hand in a fist accept for his small finger and thumb which stuck out straight.

"Mad bull." He said simply.

"Now that's really going too far. Alright, mines going to be an origami tiger…"

They carried on arguing as Root continued his story:

Police plaza was bustling with its usual crowds. Captain Kelp and his squad were sorting out the usual array of Customers and protesters while Chix and Holly sat in the interview room, cups of coffee in their hands.

"So…how's the wing?" asked Holly, adding sugar to her mug of coffee.

"It's alright…" shrugged Chix.

"Good, good…" Holly seemed lost for words. So did Chix, for a change!

"How'd the mission go? I bet you were righ' in there with that Fowl lad weren't ya?"

Holly looked offended. "Certainly not. The mission went well and now me and Artemis are good friends." Chix opened his mouth but shut it again when Holly snapped "JUST…GOOD…FRIENDS!"

Chix shrugged and stirred his coffee, smirking. "What ever!"

"I bet you had a great time, didn't you?"

Chix nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! The nurses were right cute!"

"Cuter than me?" Chix thought for a moment and Holly playfully battered her eyelids.

"Shaddup!" Giggled Chix as he pushed his way past Holly and out of the door, too many cups of coffee in his hands, rattling dangerously.

Holly shook her head. _Sprites!_ She thought _Vain as they come, but they can be funny some of the time!_

She took some gulps from her mug and stared out of the window. A group of rather odd cloaked figures hurried through the crowds. Their faces were hidden under hoods so Holly couldn't recognise them. She frowned and took another sip of her drink. The hooded figures went through the front doors of police plaza.

__

Something VERY fishy is going on… thought Holly, nibbling at a digestive biscuit. 

There was a loud crash from the hall and shouts and gunshots erupted instantly. Holly jumped up at once, grabbed her Neutrino and headed for the door. Before she could clasp the handle, the door swing open and a green fairy ran in, slamming and bolting the door behind him.

"What the heck is going on out there, Chix?" she asked, staring at the panting sprite in disbelief.

He turned to face her, beads of sweat trickling down his jaw line, and shrugged. "They…just came to the front desk…got guns out and let the lead fly!" 

Chix swallowed and his breathing calmed.

"Who Chix, who?"

"How the hell should I know, they were wearing stupid hoods weren't they!"

"I knew they were suspicious…" muttered Holly under her breath. Bullet shots could still be heard outside.

"We have to go and stop them." Said Holly, reaching for the doorknob. Chix stood defensively in front of the door.

"No Holly, I mean cap'n', whatever! You can't go out there. It's suicide!"

"I can Chix, and I will!" Holly looked at the Sprite ruthlessly but he didn't budge.

"I'm warning you Holly! Please, you saved me once, now I'm saving you!"

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

"Ya wanna bet?" Chix opened the door a crack and Holly peered out. Tables were upturned and many of the men working at police plaza were lying unconscious on the floor. Kelp was trapped behind the front desk by a hooded figure and a rather large gun. Grub whimpered slightly as a hooded figure pushed him into a corner. 

"Trouble…help!" he wailed but was soon shut up as the hooded figure knocked him over the head with his gun. He was out cold.

Trouble gulped. 

Another couple of hooded figures were looking through the file cabinet, apparently looking for something. When they found what they were looking for, they headed for the door. The figure at the door opened it for them to pass through. The others closely followed them, except the one guarding Kelp, who knocked him out before proceeding. Now was Holly's chance. 

"Right," She turned to face Chix, who was trying to wipe a coffee stain from his suit. "I have a plan, I'll grab the one at the door and you go to the phone and ring commander Root. I might need backup…"

Chix nodded and got ready to run.

"NOW!"

They both sprinted out of the door. Holly jumped onto the bulky guard at the door, which took him by surprise. He twirled round for a while, scrabbling at his attacker. But he lost his balance and fell to the floor with a thump. The hood fell back and Holly saw that it was a sprite. He shook his head and kicked Holly off him with quite a lot of force and ran out of the building. Chix walked over and helped Holly up.

"Whoa, he packed a wallop didn't 'e?" Chix smiled. "I called Root and his on his way."

"Well done private, start looking around and see if we lost anyone."

Chix nodded and did as he was told.

Holly was searching through the filing cabinet as Root came in. He looked like his usual, purple faced self. Especially when he bawled "WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?" 

His retrieval squad busied themselves treating the injured while Holly was left to explain.

Root strolled over to the cabinet once Holly had finished.

He sighed. "What did they take?"

"Only some files on dealers around the area. The ones who would do anything for money."

Root sighed again. "Anything else?"

Holly shook her head. Then she cranked her head up to face him. "Unless…" 

She went over to a restricted filing cabinet where Foaly stored his info on certain…stuff. Holly smiled in a 'I knew it!' way. The cabinet had been broken into, and a file removed. Root looked over her shoulder and shook his head.

"D'arvit!" He swore, "those are top secret files holding valuable information. Plus, we don't know which file they've taken…"

Root paced the length of the room, puffing a fungus cigar. Things looked bad. Very bad. 

Holly sighed deeply. "The best thing we can do, sir, is track the dealers and hope that the crooks are there…"

Root nodded. "Right," he said, rubbing his hands together, "lets get Foaly in!"

Artemis listened to everything and as Root finished he nodded thoughtfully.

"So you tracked the dealers here in hope of catching the people who raided police plaza…?" He murmured.

Root nodded sadly. Even Chix and Holly had lost interest in their game and fell silent.

Root looked at a rather odd watch and broke the silence. 

"We better be going," he said, "the thieves might turn up at any minute."

Holly, Chix and Trouble nodded grimly and got up, pulling on their rags. Chix had some difficulty with his and was helped by Holly.

"Goodbye then," smiled Artemis as he saw his friends to the door. Then he said in a whisper so that only Root could hear him, "I'll keep an eye out for those sprites."

Root gave Artemis one last smile and then they were gone.


	3. Authors note

****

A.N. ;-; This note is to all who reviewed this story and others!!!! ;-;

Hello, the Custard cat is desperately in need of your assistance! My story 'Artemis Fowl-the trouble with sprites!' has been going down the pan from the start. I know this because I have been gettin' a lot of bad reviews about it. Apparently I'm WAY out of character and my story line is rubbish.

What I'm actually trying to say is, I need you to make a decision. I know the start is a wee bit stupid but I couldn't come up with anything better.

Should I change the chapters I already have up and continue, or should I remove the story altogether?

Please tell me in a review or email me or go on my website and tell me somehow that way (it's www.weedworld.freehomepage.com). Please I need to know or I will not take this story any further!

As for my reviewers, thank you for telling me that my story needed work, that's the whole point of reviewing isn't it? Telling the author what they need to improve on.

Because I love you all! *AWWWWWWWWWWWWW* I have put up a special story where you are all invited to my wedding to Hades, lord of the underworld. Its called 'Custard Cat's hen nite bash!' Can you PLEASE tell me if that, or any of my other stories, need improving!

It all counts to me!!!!!!! Thanks again!

Xx.o.o.o. Custard Cat .o.o.o.xX 

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^.^ you brighten my day!


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